While its true that by three
years of age a child
can learn several languages simply by growing up in an environment
where those languages are spoken, modern science hasn't been
terribly successful in modeling out how successful communication
works. In fact, its very complex! Numerous theories
have come and gone about how children learn languages across
cultures. Hundreds of books are churned out every few years
on business communication, teaching, etc.. Ironically enough,
the very word, communication, is now completely nebulous referring
to everything from computers to media to non-verbal skills.
the most sophisticated model of interpersonal communication was
dubbed “neurolinguistics” [NLP] by its developers, Bandler and
Grinder. Using Noam Chomsky's transformational
model of how people learn languages, they studied the
linguistic patterns of several very famous therapists, known for
getting spectacular results. Many common patterns
found among those therapists as well as noted teachers and
salespeople. Later, they developed models of non-verbal
behavior. The first article below is actually an
that I use for workshops with practical hands on training. It
wasn't originally intended to stand alone as a piece of explanatory
writing but it may give a sufficient sense of the elegance of this
model of communication. For longer courses, I have much more
detailed syllabi available.
second article below builds on the basic premises of the first
article. Again, it is intended for use in very short training
sessions of an hour or two or as a a reminder for clients with whom
I'm working on these issues. My hope is that in reading it
here without any guidance you may get a good idea or two to take
into meetings with the boss or co-workers, or others with whom you
are trying to work out a conflict.
to couples counseling with articles germane to couples.